Mind melt

Earlier this year, I was lucky enough to lose my job. I experienced many thoughts and emotions as  reult of this but one of the outstanding ones was “woo-hoo, I can now concentrate on my writing”. This was, predictably, not to be.

Although I managed to get some short stories written and a number of novels started, I didn’t actually complete very much. I can put this down to two core reasons: one would be that I had no real concept of time and therefore had no deadline by which to complete my work, nothing was pressing and so I had no driver.

Secondly, of the short stories I did complete and went on to submit to websites, I had perhaps not the reaction I’d wanted (although I’m not sure exactly what I did actually expect).

There’s the over-optimistic vision of having agents bang down your day on finding your work online, which is not going to happen… there is hope that you will write something submit it, and wake up the next day in a life of brian style scenario where people shout your name and beg you for further words of wisdom. This is equally deluded but still it would be quite nice to find happening. Finally, there’s the long slow potboiler in which you become some sort of Sugarman character where you are actually unaware of your growing popularity and then people hunt you down for a documentary that tries to find out who this dark, shadowy, revolutionary figure is.

None of these things happened. I did, however, foolishly pay an amount of money to a (apparently established and respected) website to get my work published, only for it to be rejected. I should have paid attention to my own advice of never paying reviewers, agents, publishers and so on. Additionally, where I was published, the reviews only seemed to be provided by other authors and therefore seemed to smile through their words with knives behind their backs. A horrid experience.

My Twitter followers have remained quite static in number, and the only extra followers seem to be other authors intent on advertising their latest efforts to me: another author! The point being what exactly? Surely they should be hunting down bookclubs and reading groups? Coca Cola, to my knowledge, don’t go to Pepsico every week and try to get vending machines installed, the same logic can be applied here. Very, very bizarre thinking.

I will continue working on books soon, and I can’t pretend I haven’t learned anything these past months, but my intention was to write something more optimistic and forward thinking rather than the cynical tomes that are currently sitting in my head waiting to see daylight, or moonlight.

The Dead Famous pt 2 seems more likely than ever, but I had hoped to tell my cat story first. Oh, well, c’est la guerre.

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About lechaise
An unpublished, unrepresented author, I've so far completed one amateurish final draft of my first book and a slightly less amateurish first draft of my second book. The third book is now being written after which I'll edit my second book then think about completing editing on my first. Or maybe I'll skip all that and start writing my fourth, or just say sod it and go to the pub.

2 Responses to Mind melt

  1. yakinamac says:

    It’s not easy, is it? I’m over half-way through what started as being a six-month period of unpaid leave and which I’ve now extended to eight months. In a way, that has given me a timeframe to work within, but with no real external drivers there’s only one person who’s going to decide what your finish line is and then push you to reach it… Have you tried setting yourself some mini deadlines to help structure your time? That worked very well for me for the first three months I was off, though I do now need to come up with some new ones to avoid drifting aimlessly and spending far too much time typing cr*p on Twitter.

    Good luck!

    • lechaise says:

      I have tried deadlines, and it’s worked in the past for example with nanowrimo, but life is so unpredictable these days that I find my plans interrupted by life and so it all drags on. I sometimes wish for a lottery win but then I know I’ll go travelling and STILL get nothing done :D

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